Parents Learning Together

Anxious feelings are normal and expected for children returning to or starting school. We can help our kids manage their worries and stress with a few tips.

Take Care of the Basics – Ensure your child is getting enough sleep, eating regular meals, has daily exercise, and practices healthy coping skills.

• Provide Empathy – Listen to your child. Allow them to share their fears and worries with you. This can help lessen their fears and reduce their worries.
• Problem Solve – Once you have listened to your child and know what’s bothering them, you can start to develop a coping plan. For example, you can tell your child “Let’s think of some ways you could handle that situation”. Anxious children are often unable to problem solve and may doubt their ability to cope. Addressing fears head on and creating an active plan with concrete solutions can significantly reduce worries and anxieties.
• Focus on the Positive Aspects – Once you understand what your child is afraid of, and you have a coping plan to address these fears, you can encourage your child to re-direct attention away from their worries and direct them towards the positive things in their life. For example, you can ask your child “Tell me 1 thing you liked about school today”.
• Pay Attention to your own Behavior – It is completely normal for parents to experience their own feelings of worry and anxiety. Children take cues from their parents, so the more confidence you can model, the more your child will believe they can handle any challenge. Be supportive, yet firm. When saying good-bye, say it cheerfully, and only once. If they display any protests, you can say in a calm voice ” I can see that going to school is making you feel scared, it’s ok to be scared, you still have to go to school. Tell me what you are worried about, so we can talk about it”.

2-3 Days Before School Starts

• Go to the school several times – walking, taking the bus, or driving. Play at the school park and on the school grounds. Making the route familiar can help alleviate uncertainty.
• For new students, take a tour of the school, most schools have open doors a few days before the start of school. Take a peek in the classrooms, check out the bathrooms and cafeteria. Pop into the office to say “hi”. If possible, meet your child’s teacher.
• Ask your child to help choose what they want to wear on the first few days of school. Together with your child, pack up their school bag the night before, include a special toy or comfort item for young children who may be nervous about separating from you. A little love note in their lunch or snack can provide some much-needed reassurance throughout the day.

The First Day of School

• Prepare a favourite breakfast to help make the morning more fun.
• Decide who will take your child to school. If your child can go to school with a friend, it can help it feel less scary. If you can drive your child to school, or have a family member help out, in the first few days, it can make the transition back to school a little easier.
• If your child has a history of separation anxiety, talk to their teacher. Most teachers can help you with the transition and may know some helpful tips.
• Most importantly, praise your child for their brave behaviour. You could plan a fun meal or activity at the end of the first day or the end of the week to celebrate your child’s success. Take the time to listen to your child and acknowledge all of the feelings that they have.