Parents Learning Together

When children learn to solve problems, they gain confidence, resilience, and self-esteem. Children need guidance when learning to solve problems. Parents and caregivers can use the following 5 tips to help teach problem solving skills! (as seen at https://biglifejournal.com/) 

Encourage Free Play – Providing lots of time for free play also provides many opportunities for problem solving. Without set guidelines, children have the freedom to create, discover, and establish their own rules.

Teach Flexible Thinking – When children have choices and options at an early age, they begin to build cognitive flexibility, they see all the possibilities. Try using these tips a) make a small change in the daily routine i.e. “Do you want to take a bath before or after dinner?” b) use flexible language i.e. “Let’s see if we can try this another way” c) brainstorm options for as many things as possible i.e. Pizza toppings, ways to travel, ice cream flavours, or paint colours d) decide on a new rule for a favourite family game.

Celebrate Mistakes – Children who fear making mistakes are less likely to try and solve their own problems. Let them know that it’s normal and natural to make mistakes, and everybody does it. Use mistakes as a learning opportunity, talk about what went wrong and discuss different options to try next time. You can share your own challenges with solving problems, and let your kids know what you tried to solve the problem. If you are stuck trying to solve a problem, ask your children for some help (for example, “What would you do? What are some different options to try?”).

Don’t Rush In – The next time you feel tempted to rush in and solve your child’s problem, take a deep breath and try a different strategy, often, they just need to hear the message that you believe in them, and they are capable. You can discuss the differences between ‘kid problems’ and ‘adult problems’. Make a list with your child of issues a parent should always helps solve; when someone’s hurt, in danger, or there’s an issue of safety.

Practice Mindfulness – Studies show that mindfulness promotes problem-solving. When we learn to quiet the mind, the answer often becomes obvious. Try these following tips:

• Read stories and discuss how mindfulness could help the characters in the story solve their problems.
• Take a ‘listening walk’ together and count the sounds you hear, or the odours you smell, or the colours you see.
• Praise your child for pausing or taking a deep breath before reacting to a challenge.
• Modeling mindfulness for your child is also key. The next time you face a problem, calmly verbalize your feelings about it. Point out how you’re pausing before responding to an upsetting work email, unkind comment, or any other challenge that arises.

Any learned skill takes time, love, and patience. Take things in small steps and don’t try to rush your child’s learning process. Meet them where they are and go from there.